tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-361913492011-05-22T01:36:08.005+08:00Buhay sa likod ng pinilakang tabing!Jane Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866760092542741473noreply@blogger.comBlogger31100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36191349.post-88436736712797818802006-10-18T23:14:00.000+08:002006-10-18T23:18:54.628+08:00<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/36191349-8843673671279781880?l=janecruz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jane Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866760092542741473noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36191349.post-47657346552547840692006-10-18T01:55:00.000+08:002006-10-24T21:03:39.153+08:00<span style="font-family:verdana;font-size:85%;">Parishioner: Father bakit may nakasampay na daster, bra at panty sa may kumbento? may asawa ka?<br />Father: Kung aasa ako sa mga donasyon nyo, di ako mabubuhay! Tumatanggap akong labada!<br />_____<br /><br />GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!<br />BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!<br />GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!=20<br />_____<br /><br />Nay? bakit po VICTORIA ang name ni ate?<br />Kasi anak dun namin siya ginawa ng itay mo...<br />Eh bakit si kuya, ANITO?<br />Ay, tumigil ka na nga Luneta at baka mapalo kita! tawagin mo na si kuya FX mo!<br />_____<br /><br /><br />HONEYMOON:<br />Wife: Hon wag mo ako bibiglain ha? I'm still a virgin<br />Husband: You mean ako ang una?<br />Wife: Yes, do it na<br />Husband: I did it na, kanina pa!!<br />Wife: ah ganon ba? Aray pala!<br />_____<br /><br />Ama: Buntis anak ko, panagutan mo!<br />BF: May asawa na po ako!<br />Ama: Pano 'to?<br />BF: Areglo na lang po... 2 M pag Boy, 2.5M pag Girl<br />Ama: Ok, pero pag nakunan. GIB HER ANADER CHANS ha?<br />_____<br /><br />Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?<br />Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?<br />Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas<br />yummy daw talaga si mam!<br />_____<br /><br />Wife: Dear, ano regalo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?<br />Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa ...<br />Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?<br />Husband: Susunduin na kita!<br />_____<br /><br /><br />BUS HINOLDAP!<br />Holdaper: re-reypin ko lahat ng babae dito!<br />Prosti: ako na lang po, maawa kayo sa iba..<br />Lola: Sinabi na ngang LAHAT eh! sasagot pa! gagang 'to!<br />_____<br /><br />Dalawang probinsyano sumakay sa elevator<br />Gorio: magkano ibabayad natin?<br />Andoy: tanga! inosente! bugok! stupid! bat ka magbabayad eh wala pa<br />Tayong tiket!<br />_____<br /><br />Pedro bumps a foreigner<br />Pedro: ay sori<br />Foreigner: sorry too<br />Pedro: sori 3<br />Foreigner: what are you sorry for?<br />Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5<br />Foreigner: i think you are sick!<br />Pedro: hahahaha! sick daw, seven sunod!<br />_____<br /><br />Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?<br />Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!<br />Pedro: Nagseselos ka?<br />Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!<br />_____<br /><br />Anak: Itay, bibili ako ng b o nd paper<br />Itay: Anak, wag kang bobo ha? hindi "b o nd paper" ang tawag dun!<br />Anak: Ano po ba?<br />Itay: "Kokongban"<br />_____<br /><br />Women are physically stronger than men...<br />Why?<br />Because women can carry two mountains at a time!<br />while men can carry only two eggs...<br />Take Note!<br />with the help of a bird pa!<br />_____<br /><br />Madre: Father, tell your seminarian not to urinate along the fence...<br />Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...<br />Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki!Shocked<br />____<br /><br />Alam mo ba kung bakit may sabaw ang balot?<br />Kung Ikaw kaya ang ikulong sa shell... saan ka ji-jingle?<br />Aber?<br />Saan??<br />Sumagot kaaaa!!!<br />SaaaAANNNNNNN ?!?!?! Angry<br />_____<br /><br />Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na, "ano ang plano mong itanim sa sakahan mo anak?"<br />Anak: flowers papa! lots of Bongacious Flowers!!<br />____<br /><br />Ama: Hoy! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha?<br />Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh!<br />Ama: Yan! Astig!<br />Anak: Inay? nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko?<br />Ina: Alin? yung pink?<br />____<br /><br />Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang limang anak namin."<br />Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"<br />Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa Iyo =<br />diyan!"<br />_____<br /><br />Juan: San ka galing?<br />Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.<br />Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?<br />Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!<br />_____<br /><br />Two nurses on duty...<br />Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!<br />Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen ko!!Shocked<br />_____ </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/36191349-4765734655254784069?l=janecruz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jane Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866760092542741473noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36191349.post-1161106418824476932006-10-18T01:33:00.001+08:002006-10-18T01:33:07.493+08:00<span style="font-family:lucida grande;">Testing lng to..</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/36191349-116110641882447693?l=janecruz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Jane Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02866760092542741473noreply@blogger.com0